Changed

 Hello!

Well I need to let out some thoughts that has been stuck in my head. So here it goes.

Currently I’m in the process of accepting that I won’t be keeping in touch with him anymore. It’s not that hard to be honest. Probably because he left me, as in he hasn’t checked up on me for a month. Yes, a month :) Gosh, that’s sad isn’t it? Imagine not talking to your ‘boyfriend’ for a month. We haven’t seen each other for over a year now. So yeah. We argue a lot, yes. A lot. And it’ll always end up with me talking to him again. Like nothing happened. I hated that.

I do tried talking out, but it wasn’t always a success. I don’t like his answers. It’s fking annoying! 😩 And I always feel like he doesn’t know me anymore, you know. 🥺 That’s so sad. 

This time, I asked him why hasn’t he contacted me at all. You know what he answers? “Yes, I TRIED to contact you. Everyday I STALKED your social media.” 🤬 What the heck is that supposed to mean? You tried contacting me by STALKING me on social media instead of texting/calling me? What the fck⁉️

I was mad. That was a complete dumb excuse & justification. How can you not talk to the person you love for a month? How? Easy, he doesn’t love me. He was probably in love with the idea of me, but not me.

I’m a changed person now. Back then I used to have time to scroll & stalk the instagram & social medias, but now I’m busy. I don’t even have time to sleep in the afternoon tho. I’m either busy working and/or crying! I still don’t like answering phone calls but I’ll respond to text message. But I definitely don’t have time to scroll instagram every fking hour. 😩

I don’t know. I don’t always like his answers, it’s not straight forward. And it always sound like a dumb excuse. What do you think I am? Dumb? 😤 Urgh. So frustrating. The way we think is not the same anymore. He doesn’t always take me seriously. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Due to my childish and not confident personality that I had back then. But hey, I’m a changed person now ok! 😤

I told my friends about this, they told me to stay calm, re-think, re-visit, re-think about the decision (of leaving him). I mean, just because you’ve been with the same person for like 5-6 years doesn’t mean he’s the one?? Urgh. Back then we were so young. Now that we’re older, we’ve changed! Why can’t people see that. People change!

The way he was treating me, do you think it’s okay to not talk for a month. Never had an attempt to talk. Nada. There was no effort! 🥲 I don’t like the way I was treated. It sucks.

It’s true what they say, lelaki ni awal-awal je beria. Lol. Accurate as fck‼️

It feels so good to finally have let go of what I have to say 🥲✨ I’m going to sleep now.

Til then, bye!